A new headspace
What do you see here? A mother and her beautiful baby girl at the zoo? No. This was me in survival mode 6 years ago. This was me hanging on by a thread. I literally found out my marriage was a sham. My ex had been cheating on me with more women than he had fingers and toes and I had just found out. My son was 3 at the time. Oh yeah and I had just started a new business that year running my own wellness center. WTF? I mean you can’t make this shit up!
I tried to fake it. I tried to act like everything was ok. Only a handful of my friends knew the truth. And then it got worse. I spiraled out of control. Lost my business. Got evicted. I was put on medication and diagnosed with PTSS ( post traumatic stress syndrome)by my therapist. It was all debilitating at times. The depression, the anxiety, the worry over my children, the complete lack of self worth and esteem. I was beat down. I didn’t want to kill myself but I didn’t want to be alive. I didn’t want to feel. I didn’t want to run into “them” and have to explain everything over and over. So depending on the day, I got up and I put on labels like clothes and yes most of them were fake knock offs! No confidence. No organization. No consistent income. I was nothing but a hot mess inside daily. And it has been a very long road because I stayed in hiding from a lot of things I needed to deal with. I woke up every week ready to recover and then I would get a sucker punched at some point and just stay on the ground. You know why? My story. I was living the same BS story over and over.
Radical honesty? I can say that it was only in the last few years that I started doing the inner work to completely destroy its emergence. I have armored myself with a new mindset to battle the old voices that don’t want to die. I have equipped myself with people that “get it” and they “get me” so there’s no need for labels. I am transforming daily because I choose to do the work. Are you ready to do the same?
Are you living a story that doesn’t align with what you really want in life?
My hope is that you create the space to own your fire! Own the pen that writes your next chapter in life. Burn those old ways and old stories as they show up and rise anew. Love yourself most and more.